it has been really quiet around here and i have been thinking a lot about talking here about it or not. in the first place i had wanted this to be a creative blog. a place were i can take a break from regular life. a place i can dream. a place were i can breath. a place were things are reassuring. but it turns out that this has been keeping me from posting and so today i will make an exception:
photo: fairy guarding Beethovens grave at the Old Central Cemetary Vienna
today i will talk about my everyday life and fears as a self-employed woman. boyfriend and i are building up our own business and i don't want to go into details on this. i just wanted to tell you that it is NOT EASY. and i have really felt crap the last couple of weeks. especially the last two weeks. throughout we are doing ok and considering that this is our third year we're doing not bad at all (so far). the problems are the every day ups and downs. it really kills me. and it prevents me from sleeping and being creative. i ask myself: am i really doing enough? should i try harder? are we holding on to something that is long dead (these are the really bad times)? we should be further in life: starting a family, building a house, etc. it goes on and on....
photo: murial at the Old Central Cemetary Vienna
and you know what? everytime when we (mostly i) are just about to give up something really nice happens: a customer calls and thanks us. it stops raining and there is a rainbow across the sky. a friend gives us a jar of brownies. a business partner tells us that he enjoys working with us. blooming orchidaceous on my window sill (they have been looking so lousy over winter). boyfriend comes back from the market with raspberries (he is so good in all this. such great support and always soooo positive). and at these moments you just hug yourself roll up your sleeves and continue. and feel VERY blessed.
photo: the empty cookie jar
photo: the blooming orchidaceous
i have become much more aware of these little signs of help. and i love them. i wouldn't be here without them. i just had to say this and now i will go and take a couple of pics from the things a have been up to lately.
i hope you will also find the little signs of help, take care t:t
photo: murial at the Old Central Cemetary Vienna 
photo: the empty cookie jar
photo: the blooming orchidaceous
1 comment:
Keep on believing in the signs, look for them, and they will be there. I love that game, though I know it's not so easy always.
I also know the feelingof not being able to sleep and losing the creativity when problems keep your mind busy. THAT'S when you should actively look for the signs.
This message was one, I hope...
;-)
*hugs*
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